When It Rains
by tickingmetaphors
Summary: What happens when Bella does find the presents Edward had hidden under her floor boards? What happens when she helplessly feels the small amount of hope creeping up her throat? What if Bella knew, all along, that Edward still loved her?
1. Chapter 1

I sluggishly forced my feet to move on the hard surface of the pavement.

Another days worth of school had worn me out, but, then again, everything wore me out these days.

I adjusted the strap of my backpack on my shoulder and made my way up the porch stairs, trying desperately to make the mild amount of pain I was feeling at the moment to vanish – to fizzle out in my heart. But that was just wishful thinking.

It never went away.

I reached into the pocket of my jeans again and retrieved the house keys. I pulled them from my pocket, but the slipped from my hand. I groaned to myself and reached down, picking them back up. It was then when I heard the _thump_ and the _crash_.

Hurriedly, I dropped my backpack, shoved the keys into the keyhole and threw the door open, and only knowing two things to expect.

One, being Charlie has just dropped dead, or two, Charlie has gotten too close to the television and knocked it over in the excitement of a basketball team winning. Again.

But, none of those things were in my vision. My heart – wait, excuse me, my _emptiness_ boiled over as I took in the scene before me.

The smell of melting plastic and metal was what hit me first – it was too sweet for my nostrils and too bulky for my throat to bear. I had to bring the sleeve of my jacket up over my nose just to stand a little over five more seconds in the house.

The black smoke was too thick for me to see through – all I could make out were the flames dancing across the kitchen in an eerie attempt at burning whatever crossed its path.

I quickly stepped outside again, sucking in as much air as I could without feeling dizzy, then ventured back into the house.

"Dad?!" I cried, desperately trying to find any indication that Charlie was still here, alive.

Because if he were to die, I would be all alone.

I would have no one else.

"Charlie!" I tried to remember where he kept the fire extinguisher, then remembered that we had to let one of our neighbors down the street borrow it. It was a family barbeque gone wrong – why anybody tried having a barbeque in Forks was beyond me.

I ran upstairs, to Charlie's room first. I threw the door open and saw nothing except for a messy bed. I thought I had remembered to make it this morning before I left for school.

I continued to check through the top level of the house, and once I got to the end of the hall – where my bedroom door was – the smell worsened and the smoke stung my eyes and lungs. I reached for my doorknob. I had no idea why – if I opened this door, I could make things so much worse, I could make the ceiling possibly collapse, or the floor.

I gripped the doorknob and ignored the way it burned my hand – the all too familiar feeling that I had felt only a few months prior. I forced the memory out of my head and ignored the way the scar on my wrist seemed to glow.

I jerked my bedroom door open, adrenaline rushing through my veins. I had promised him to stay out of danger, I kept in mind, but we all broke promises.

It was the _human_ thing to do.

I didn't worry about it – I'd be punished for it later, when I was in bed, curled up in the ball I had familiarized myself with the past six months.

Suddenly I remembered that I wasn't going to have a bed to sleep in tonight, for it was now turned to ash on the ground. But that was only a guess, the only thing I could see were the orange and yellow and red flames dancing lethally through the room.

But something attracted me to this room – something was pulling at my hand, urging me to stay here as it went to pieces.

I took a few steps in, completely ignoring the blood that oozed from my burning hand, completely ignoring the fact that I was probably going to die in a mere matter of seconds.

I felt eternally attached to this room – I loved and hated it at the same time, for it held so many memories that I once cherished. Memories that always threatened to tear me in half but memories I always wanted to keep.

Then it hit me.

If my memories were going to be burned to the ground, then so was I.

I took another step into my room—

"Isabella Marie Swan. Don't you _dare_ take another step or so help me..."

This voice...I knew this voice... It was the voice I had banished so many times from my head, the voice that I always wanted to sing me to sleep at night. The voice that I'd give anything to hear again.

My head snapped around, trying to find _him_. Trying to see _him_. But I couldn't – all that there was around me was fire and smoke.

Sudden fear ripped through me like a lion – I didn't want to move, I didn't want to disappoint this voice. I was frozen in place – too scared to even blink, much less move.

"Somebody!" I was ashamed to call this voice my own. Ashamed that I had dared to enter this bedroom. "Somebody help me!"

But there was still a small part of me that didn't want to be saved. I wanted to disappear with my memories, like I thought earlier. I wanted to go where they went.

I couldn't be _that_ selfish.

Something poking out of the melted ground caught my eye. I gasped, not thinking I'd ever see it again. _Tickets_.

I glanced quickly around me, looking to see if the flames were too close to me, making sure I wouldn't get burnt again if I moved.

"It's all right. Move slowly, Bella." The frantic voice murmured to me, and I obeyed it.

My fingers grazed the piece of paper. I lightly tugged it, and then I heard a small click, like something had just hit the ground. I cocked an eyebrow, forgetting again that I was about to be swallowed up whole by the fire.

_But this would be a nice way to die_, I thought to myself. _With this beautiful voice ringing through my ears_.

"Bella, you are not going to die. You cannot _die_. You promised."

The floorboards beneath me cracked.

_Don't be so brave for me_. _I'll be fine_.

He growled.

A piece of wood broke from the floor, and it was all I needed to see the things worth seeing. It was enough for every memory I had locked up to be unleashed from my mind, whipping me in the face.

My horrid 18th birthday, the meadow, James, Victoria, the Volvo, his golden _eyes_.

I ignored the rip in my chest, the feeling of breaking in half, as I quickly grabbed the CD and the plane tickets, holding them tightly to my upper body as I sobbed, the noise being drown out by the floor around me collapsing and breaking.

"Stand up, Bella!" the beautiful velvet hummed in my ear, his voice broken. "Run, move, _anything_."

"I can't." I choked aloud, gasping as the air in my lungs constricted. "I can't move."

"Yes, you can. Stand up, Bella, stand up!"

I lamely agreed with the voice, desperately clutching the few items I had forgotten about. I looked out around me wildly, trying to find a way of escape, so I could put the misery out of his voice.

"Walk to your window, Bella," he said. "Open it and climb down the gutters."

I slowly, cautiously, pressed myself up against the wall as I tried to ignore the way the heat was blistering my skin, the blood still seeping out of my hand, staining the white paper of the plane tickets to Florida.

I made it to my window and fought the urge to cry out in happiness as I opened it.

_I'm going to be okay_.

But the window was budged. The frame had melted together.

"Damn it!" he cursed in my head.

_What do I do_?!

It took a second before he replied, his words going so fast I had a hard time catching them.

"Grab the lamp that is to the left of you; grip it as tightly as you can without injuring yourself more. I want you to throw it at the window, Bella. Stand back as far as you possibly can so the glass won't scratch you."

I threw my hand back and covered my eyes with my left arm, shielding my eyes.

The lamp broke the glass successfully and I quickly threw the CD and tickets out the window before climbing out myself.

"Shoot!" I cried as I felt a piece of glass rip through my side.

The voice in my head sighed.

I climbed down the gutters as quickly as I could with the damage I had. As I was about half way down, I heard another crash and my window completely burst open, fire thrusting in and out angrily.

Then I heard sirens in the distance.

_It's a little late for that_, I scowled.

Charlie and I's house was already gone beyond repair – we'd have to start all over again.

Every memory of this house was burning to the ground before my eyes.

Now all I had left was this stupid piece of paper and a stupid jewel case CD.

But I couldn't help but feel that there was hope in these two items.

Hope that should not exist in the very being of Bella Swan.

There was no hope for me – I'd lost it long ago, in the forest next to me. The only thing that dared to remember were the trees there. They had witnessed everything. They had witnessed the words, the emotions, the body language. They had witnessed my first kiss, my first run with a vampire. They had witnessed the search party looking for me, witnessed Sam Uley's terrified gaze when he had found me.

The trees knew everything, and at that moment, I truly _believed_ that there was one other who could be feeling the way I was right now.

My thoughts were interrupted by the howls of a mans voice, the sirens now closer, just in front of the house, I guessed.

I gripped my seeds of hope tighter against myself and made my way around the house, forcing myself to seem the bit interested in my bleeding hand.

"Bella!" Charlie's voice boomed once I came into his vision.

To my shock, he ran toward me, gathered me in a tightest embrace and squeezed me.

It knocked the breath out of me, and I tried not to struggle against his hold, but my lungs were screaming in protest.

"Dad," I choked out, trying to suck in air.

He abruptly pulled away, still keeping a tight grip on my shoulders. "What happened to you, Bella?"

I looked at the ground as I spoke, feeling the blush creep onto my cheeks as I shamefully admitted to what I had done. "I thought you were inside – I went in to look for you and I got locked in my room."

"How on earth did you get out?"

"I had to break the window."

Charlie's mouth fell open in alarm. "Didn't you notice the cruiser wasn't here, Bells?"

I raised my eyebrows, shocked at myself for not paying attention. "I...I guess I was so caught up in the moment that I forgot to look..."

He sighed and hugged me again. "Thank heavens you're all right. I thought I lost 'ya,"

I nodded against him, the gesture awkward because my hands were tightly wound around myself.

"Sir, we need to check your daughter for injuries." A paramedic's voice sounded.

"Oh, sure," Charlie handed me off carefully, paying attention to my weakened state.

I was taken to the ambulance and sat inside. They tried to make me lie on the stretcher but I refused.

"Ms. Swan, why don't you put those things aside?" they asked me.

My eyes widened in alarm and my heart ached at the very thought of letting go of these items. They were the only thing I had left of the Cullen's—I caught myself, gasping, waiting for the ache to tear through my body.

But it never came.

The paramedic raised his eyebrows, deciding not to pry them away from me, I imagined.

"How did you get these burns?" I was asked.

"From the doorknob,"

My mind was distracted, thinking, working. I felt as though the presence in my head was still there, watching, seeing everything through my eyes. Whenever the paramedic wasn't too careful, the voice growled, whenever I winced in pain, the voice would hum a familiar tune to comfort me.

And I was comforted. I no longer cared that I had a huge barrier up, I let the memories flood back to me, and calmly, I took each one in, letting them soak me up like the sun drying out the rain.

Except, in my case, it was Forks' rain it was drying up – like old wounds finally being cleansed, so they could finally heal.

That was all I needed to get the motivation that I desired.

I was going to find Edward Cullen – even if he did not want me, I was going to find him.

The voice inside of my head roared.


	2. Chapter 2

Denali. I was going to Denali.

It didn't matter if the Cullen's were there or not – I would just find Tanya and the rest of the Denali coven – they could tell me where they were.

Simple enough, right?

My plan wasn't all that thought out. It was a two day journey – I had enough money for gas for three days. I was going out on a whim. But that was all I needed. I just needed to know where he was, if his distractions where truly working, if he was all right.

If he had moved on.

I cringed to myself, trying to quite my footsteps the best to my ability, hunching my shoulders subconsciously as the soft carpet squished between my toes.

Charlie and I were staying in La Push, at the Black's residence. I had not seen Jacob Black since the day of my prom, when he so foolishly admitted why he had come in the first place.

I couldn't help but hold a small grudge toward Billy for making him do such a thing.

I headed back into Jacob's bedroom, to retrieve my blanket and pillow for the long journey, when I accidentally stepped on a soft spot of carpet. The floor creaked and I immediately froze up, my eyes darting to the sleeping figure of Jacob, his chest rising up and down slowly.

I stayed frozen for a moment, just to be safe. When I noticed that he was not going to wake, I sighed lightly and snatched my things from the bed, and when I turned around, I swore my heart flew out of my chest.

"Bella?" Jacob's voice was thick with sleep. "What are you doing?"

I blushed, looking down at the floor, wishing with all of my might that I could disappear.

"Are you not comfortable on the bed? We can switch if you want. Not to be rude or anything, but this floor is breaking my back."

I shook my head. "No, Jake, it's fine." I took a few steps backwards until I could feel the bed behind my knees. I sat down. "Uh, I was just...I had to use the restroom."

"Were you planning on sleeping in the bathroom, too?"

I squeezed my eyes shut. "No, Jacob."

"C'mon, Bella, what are you _really_ doing?"

I bit my lip, holding my breath.

_Should I tell him?_ I battled with myself in my head, weighing the pros and cons.

"I'm not too sure how to say this..."

"Just tell me. It can't be that bad...unless it's some girl thing, then you can keep it to yourself." His lips puckered in disgust.

"No, no, it's nothing like that." I sighed, running a hand through my thick mane of brown hair. "I, uh...I'm leaving."

"Where are you going to go?"

"To Alaska."

To my surprise he started snickering, his hand flying up to his face to muffle the noise.

I cocked an eyebrow. "Jacob, why are you laughing?"

"That's the lamest excuse I've ever heard, Bella."

"I'm not lying."

Jacob's face fell, his dark eyebrows pulling together as he gathered this new information. He threw his covers back and crawled to the edge of the bed. He pushed himself up and sat beside me. "Why the hell do you need to go to Alaska?"

I pressed my lips together, trying to word a coherent sentence.

I couldn't help it. The tears came before I even had a chance to comprehend what was happening.

"Aw, Bells, don't get all mushy on me now." Jake threw an arm around my shoulder, smiling half heartedly in attempt to cheer me up. "You can tell me what's bothering you. I promise I won't laugh."

"It's not really something capable of laughing at, Jake." I mumbled.

"Please, tell me."

I sucked up my pride. "I'm going to find Edward."

Jacob seemed to turn to stone, and I swore that I didn't hear him breathing for a moment.

"But... _why_?" his voice rang with shock. "Why would you do that?"

"I need to find him, Jacob. I need to see him." I stood up from the bed and grabbed my blanket and pillow again. "Please, don't tell Charlie or Billy where I went. I need to do this, Jake. This is something I _have_ to do."

He looked up at me, confusion seeping through his russet skin. "Just tell me why, Bella. Why would you want to find him after he...after he left you?"

My eyes closed as the pain ripped through my chest. I thought it had gone, but I guess I was wrong. I dropped my things and fell to the floor, my arms wrapped around my torso.

It was much like a bullet forever stuck in my heart – if I turned funny, it stung; if I didn't have enough air, it ached.

The tears fell freely out of my eyes as I tried to stifle a sob, burying my head into my pillow.

"Bella?" Jacob whispered, and I felt his hand on the back of my neck. "Bella, are you okay? I'm sorry, I didn't mean that!"

It was awhile until my throat opened and I could finally speak again. I rolled slowly onto my side as I glared up at him, his concerned brown eyes fixated on mine.

"It still hurts me, Jake." I told him. "It still hurts to talk about him out loud. It still hurts to think about him too long."

Jake was now lying beside me, holding one of my hands in both of his own, too large for a sixteen-year-old boy, hands.

"See, that's what I mean. How could you want to go back to someone that hurt you so much?"

"Because I still love him." It felt nice to say out loud. "That's why it hurts so much."

Jacob flinched, but he acted as if he hadn't. "I'm coming with you."

I gasped. "What?"

"I'm not going to let you go through with this alone, Bella."  
_He wants to be with me just incase I can't find him,_ I decided. _He wants to be there when I get rejected again._

I reeled from the memory, shutting that section of my mind off for now.

"Are you sure, Jacob?" I couldn't help but need someone there with me. It was so nice to actually have someone who _wanted_ to be there. "You don't have to go just because you feel bad for me."

"Are you _kidding_ me, Bells?" Jake practically jumped up from the floor, a huge grin adorning his face. "I've never been out of the state, much less through another country. I'd go whether you wanted me to or not!"

I pushed myself up from the floor and wiped my face dry, smiling at Jacob.

"Thank you." I whispered.

Jake leaned over and brought me up into a hug, crushing me to his body.

"Anytime, Bells."

"Hurry and get your things together – pack as much as you can because I'm not sure when we'll be back."

Jacob nodded and began gathering plastic bags and stuffing things in them.

I helped him lug all of his things out to my truck, sticking them in the bed. He had found a tarp to cover everything so it wouldn't get wet due to the rain, but we decided to just shove it in the front seat and wait until we were a few miles out to use it, just in case we woke Charlie and Billy up.

Jacob was just now coming out of the little red house with the last of his things. I was pretty sure it was food due to the way he seemed to be enjoying the smell.

"We'll keep this in here," he said, opening the door and setting the large bag on the floor. "So it doesn't rot."

"What is it?"

Jacob grinned. "About two weeks worth of peanut butter and jelly."

"We're not going to be gone _that_ long." I honestly had no idea how long we'd be gone. It was the very thought that I could be seeing Edward within the next week that sent my heart into a fury of thuds and clunks and rips.

"Just want to be prepared."

I mentioned for him to get buckled and he did so.

I put the keys in the ignition, and just before I turned it, Jacob grabbed my wrist.

"Wait, Bella," he breathed. "Your truck is loud. I mean, like, really, _really_ loud."

"Shoot."

"Switch seats."

"What?"

Jake narrowed his eyes at me and set his mouth into a stubborn grimace, like he couldn't believe I didn't trust him. "If Charlie and Billy were to see us leaving, I don't want them to blame this on you."

My eyes widened. "And why would you want them to blame it on _you_?"

"Because, this is partly my fault. I mean, I could stop you if I wanted, but I'm agreeing to it."

I smiled, happiness coursing through my veins.

It was a strange feeling – I hadn't been happy in a long time. It hurt a little at first, because I was so used to only one emotion – _pain_. But once the happiness settled in, there was only one person who could break it.

And I silently prayed that he wouldn't.

"Hurry, switch," Jacob urged, and we counted to three before throwing ourselves on the opposite sides of the car.

"Ow," I complained as I clutched my still healing hand to my chest, the band-aid peeling away from my skin slightly.

"Sorry," Jake muttered. "Okay, here we go." He sucked in a sharp breath before staring the car.

We both cringed at the roar of the truck, as it disrupted the foggy night air; my hands even reached out and covered my ears. It seemed so much louder when I knew I wasn't supposed to be doing this – when I knew what I was doing was wrong. But it felt so _right_.

Jacob slammed the pedal down as hard as he could, the red truck accelerating and groaning in protest.

Some lights flashed on inside of the Black's residence, and my heart jumped.

"Hurry, Jacob!" I cried, throwing my hands out in some failed attempt at somehow making the truck listen to us.

"I'm trying, Bella!"

"Bella? Jacob?" Charlie's gruff voice yelled, alarm clear in his voice. "Hey, you kids get back in this house!"

My truck finally obeyed, as if on cue. We raced down the driveway and onto the main road, and I quickly glanced at Jacob, the sweat that had formed on the top of his forehead was now beading down the sides of his sharp face, and I could not help but think how attractive I thought Jacob had become in the past months I hadn't seen him.

"Well, there goes any hope that I had for finishing my Rabbit." He complained.

I frowned, reaching out to touch his shoulder. "I'm sorry, Jacob. If it's any facilitate, I'll help you pay for as much as I can – that is, if I'm not sent to military school after this."

"I'll be right behind you on that one," Jake laughed. "But, thanks, Bells."

I smiled again – it felt like such a normal thing to do now.

I heard Billy shouting behind us now, and I was pleased with myself for not feeling the least bit guilty for what I was doing – I did not feel guilty for leaving Charlie or Jessica or Angela or Mike. I felt like what I was doing was something I needed to do.

And, believe me; I was going to find Edward. I did not care if it were in a hole or in Hell.

I was going to find my angel.

I was going to find him and I was determined I was not leaving him until I got my answers.

All I wanted to know was if he let go. All I wanted to know was that he was happy.

The sounds of sirens pierced through my ears, the red and blue lights lighting the narrow road.

"This is the only time I regret my father being a police chief." I grumbled as Jacob tried desperately to get the truck to go faster.

"This thing is a piece of _crap_!" he whined. "Bells, why couldn't you have objected to this trash and asked for a completely new car?"

"Excuse me for not planning on falling in love with a vampire." I gasped at my sudden slip, my hand flying to my mouth automatically. "I didn't just say that."

Jacob's eyes widened, and to my utter shock, the truck coughed loudly and we were now speeding 80 miles an hour, the police cruiser quite a ways behind us.

"Edward's a _what_?!"


	3. Chapter 3

I sat in stony silence, my eyes wide on the road as I tried to ignore the presence of the boy beside me.

"Bella, answer me!" Jacob demanded, his voice suddenly sounding rough and older.

I debated with myself. It would be so nice to have someone to talk to – to have someone understand what I'm going through, and no that's it's not just some stupid, teenaged girl losing her first love thing.

No, I did not lose my first love.

I lost my soul mate. I lost the only person that would make me complete.

"J-Jacob, what if I told you..." I could not bring myself to finish the sentence.

"What if you told me iwhat/i, Bella?"

"What if I told you that all of those tribe legends were true?" I demanded. "What if I told you that vampires were real?"

"You have no proof."

I shoved my wrist in his face, the scar that James had left forever on my skin glistening in the moon light. "Yes, I do."

Jacob's dark eyes glanced back and forth from my wrist to the road. "Where did that come from?"

"Remember last year? When I fell down a set of stairs and out a window?"

"Yes."

"That was a lie." I sighed heavily, leaning forward in my seat as I stared at Jake, trying to help him understand that I was not lying, trying to make him realize that I wasn't crazy. "Jacob, I was tracked and attacked by a vampire named James. I didn't leave because I was scared that Edward and I would become like my mother and father– no, I left because, if I didn't, I would have been killed."

His eyes went wide, the truck slowing down as we were now at least fifty miles away from Forks, Washington.

"Bella." He breathed, his expression torn. "Bells, what are you _saying_? Do you _hear _yourself?"

I bit my lip, holding back the tears as I tried to keep my eyes away from my friend. The hole in my chest starting to sting even more as I came to the realization that he thought I was crazy – just another person who believed in fairy tails and pixie dust.

No.

"Forget it, Jake."

The truck sped up again, and I could see Jacob's fingers stretching, straining themselves against something. His tendons stood out on his russet skin, appearing as a milky color.

"I'm sorry, Bells, it's just that...I don't know." He sighed heavily, running a hand down his face. "What's the next thing you're going to tell me? That _werewolves _are—"

Both of our screams pierced through the truck, our bodies jerking forward as Jacob slammed on the pedal, trying to avoid hitting the huge ball of grey that dashed out in front of us. But it was no luck. The ball slammed into the front of the truck and we came to an abrupt halt.

"What the hell was that?!" Jacob was flat against the back of the seat, his eyes frantic.

"I don't know!"

"Get out and go see!"

"Why should _I _have to?"

We both took deep breaths, trying to calm ourselves.

"Okay. We'll go out together." I decided, trying to glance over the hood of the car in a failed attempt at guessing what the thing was. I frowned when I realized that the hood was dented in – it was bigger than a bear, but smaller than a horse.

I opened the door carefully, trying to keep myself pressed against the truck just in case I had to make a run for it – if the thing was still alive. But how anything could survive being hit by a truck going eighty miles an hour was beyond me.

Jacob, too, got out and we sent each other glances. I tried to keep a brave face as I sucked in a deep breath and turned the corner, gasping once I caught sight of the gangly boy who now laid bloody, in the middle of the road.

"We _hit _a _person_!" I cried, falling to my knees and pushing on their shoulder, trying to turn them over so I could see their face. Blood pooled around their stomach area, and I held my breath to keep from feeling sick. But that didn't stop the dizziness from evading my system.

They jerked on their back, their eyes glazed over and their mouth ajar, blood dripping off their chin. His skin and hair was dark and he was shirtless, barely any fabric covered his bottom half. I patted their face slowly, trying to get them to regain consciousness, for they were still breathing.

"Jacob, help me," my voice was haggard, crazed from the sudden events of the past three days, my mind working a million miles a minute as I tried desperately to remember something a doctor did for me, to treat my wounds. But I had never been physically damaged ithis/i bad.

My eyes shot up to Jacob when he did not respond.

His eyes were black as coals, his eyes narrowed at the body in front of me as his breathing came is short rasps, his hands trembling at the sight. He mumbled something that I didn't catch.

"Jacob? Jake, are you okay?"

"Embry."

"What?"

"That's Embry."

My eyes widened as I turned my gaze back to the boy lying at my feet, his lean body now striking a cord in my memory.

Embry Call was one of Jacob's best friends, I remembered. I had met him a year ago, at the bonfire where Jacob had told me the Quileute tribe legends, about the werewolves and vampires. That was the day I had learned what Edward was, and I mentally laughed at myself for searching the internet for hours, just to see if it were true...

A groan came from Embry, and his eyes flickered under his lids. I watched in amazement as the cuts and scratches disappeared from his body within a matter of seconds, the strange arch in his back constricted and snapped back into place.

Embry's eyes fluttered open, unfocused as he tried to take recognition of his surroundings. His eyes fell upon Jacob.

"_You_." His voice was a hiss within the darkness.

"How did you get here?" Jacob's tone matched.

"I came looking for you – what are you _thinking_, Jacob?" Embry's dark gaze turned to me and he jumped up lethally, stepping between Jacob and I. His gaze shifted constantly and nervously between us.

"Would someone tell me what's going on?" I panicked.

"Get in the car, Bella."

I blinked, my opening and closing my mouth a few times, feeling as if I had to say something to stop them from fighting, arguing – whatever it was that they were about to do. I turned slowly on my heel and glanced at the two before going around to open the truck door, sliding in and closing it again.

Embry looked like he was concentrating hard on something – so hard I thought he was going to explode right in the middle of the road.

I watched them in silent bafflement, their arms raising and falling, the veins in their necks straining as they yelled at each other. I learned after the word '_Sam_' that my ears were not meant for the argument, and I reached under the seat of the truck, pushing the freezer bag that Jacob had stuffed with peanut butter and jelly aside, to reach the jewel case CD that had not left my mind for more than a minute after I had found it in the burning Swan residence. A spasm of melancholy ran roughly through my veins, grieving for the house that had been burnt to the ground.

With shaking fingertips, I slowly opened the CD case, my heart seeming as if it was freezing up in my chest.

My breath caught in my throat when three pictures slid out of the case and onto my lap.

I tried to breath when I realized that one of the pictures were turned over -- _his _face staring back at me. The way his eyes slightly squinted at the corners when he smiled, the perfect teeth set against his pale skin, his untidy bronze hair in a heap on the top of his head, the square-ness of his jaw and the perfectly angled nose. The way he was looking at me behind the camera, and not the lens.

In my dreams, he was just a blur.

My thoughts of him had done him no justice.

And the sight utterly killed me.

I think if it had not been for Jacob right outside of the car rushing to my rescue, I am positive that I would have never breathed again.

Jacob's hand came in contact with my face, slapping me into consciousness, causing me to suck in as much air as I could, trying to steady myself, the sting of his hand causing me to wince in pain, the fresh set of hot tears streaming from my eyes as fast as my tear ducts allowed.

I was held tightly against him as he told me repeatedly to breathe, that it would be okay.

In all truth, Jacob hadn't a clue if it would be okay. The only way that it would even _remotely _be okay is if Edward would spare me a glance – if I were to _see _him.

And here I was, crying about it, my chances dwindling.

"Get in the car," I commanded, jerking away from Jacob as he furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

"Bella, I..."

"_Get in the car, Jacob!_" I yelled, "or so help me, I will leave you here to walk home with Embry."

We had to hurry – Charlie would surely catch up with us any minute, and I would not take the chance.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Embry shrug and order Jacob into the car, both squeezing into the tight fitting space.

"Jeez, Jacob, she sure is demanding," Embry mused.

I felt my face get hot, the tear streaks still intact on my cheekbones.

Jacob flinched. "Shut up, Embry." He scolded. "Finish what you were saying."

"Um... Jacob, I'm not sure I can..." I felt his eyes on me.

"Anything you can say to me, you can say in front of Bella."

I couldn't help but feel a warming in my heart – a warming that didn't actually hurt.

Jacob's words made my lips twitch, fighting a smile at his devotedness toward me.

Embry leaned over Jacob to see me. "What do you know?"

I swallowed the lump in my throat, my foot pressing a little harder on the gas pedal, subconsciously testing the new speeds that I had gained tonight.

"The Cullen's are...vampires?"

He nodded. "What else?"

"That you can turn into a giant ball of hair and heal freakishly fast?"

"Aw, man," his voice was whining now, all traces of anger from earlier gone. He sighed. "We're in for a long night."

_thank you to everyone who reviewed/added me to their watch list!_


	4. Chapter 4

"Bella," Jacob's voice sounded in my ear as I felt the pressure of his hand on my shoulder, shaking me awake.

I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and yawned, stretching in the limited space. My eyes danced slowly over to Embry, to see if he were really here, as I asked myself if it were all a dream.

Embry explained everything...well, sort of. It was mostly a guessing game between Jacob and I – Jacob had won. Embry had said that when gave Sam specific orders (such as not telling anybody he was a werewolf) that he had to keep the secrets at all costs – unless someone guessed it or found out – like Jacob and I.

It seemed as though I could not escape mythical creatures, no matter where I went. They were always there.

The distance Edward was putting between us meant nothing to me anymore. No matter how far I went, I was never safe. No matter how careful I was, I always got hurt. I knew he still somehow cared for me after seeing the CD and those tickets and pictures under my floor boards, even if it were just a simple "I still like you," I would take it. I would take anything he said to me to heart.

I had taken those words in the forest to heart, though, and look at where that got me; sitting in a car with two teenaged boys – one a werewolf and one in deep trouble for running away with me to Alaska.

"I need sleep," Embry mumbled, running a hand down his face as he stared at the bright road in front of him, the rain puddles reflecting the sun and sky.

"There's a motel," I pointed out, not wanting to stop but knowing that Jacob and Embry needed somewhere proper to sleep – not some old truck that was too small for the three of us.

Embry's eyes lit up as he eyed the broken building, letters spelling O-P-E-N glowing in neon lights. He made a right turn in the parking lot, sliding into a parking space next to what looked like an abandoned trailer park. I opened the door and Jacob hopped out after I did, staying quite close to me. We went around to the back and grabbed Jacob and I's bags, and I felt guilty for not having a change of clothes for Embry, for he was still shirtless.

"I can borrow some of Jake's clothes," he had said, grinning at my worried expression.

"I'm not sure you'll fit in them. They're probably too small for you."

"I'll squeeze."

We walked into the motel, the smell of rotting wood immediately filling my nostrils. I saw Jacob cringe from the smell out of the corner of my eye.

"Can I help you?" the oversized woman behind the counter asked, her monotone voice filling through the empty lobby.

"We need a room, please." I requested.

She absently reached under the counter and pulled out some keys, basically throwing them across the counter.

"Room twenty-one," she said.

Jacob snatched the keys up before I could, his hand skimming across mine.

I would have dismissed it if his hand weren't so ihot/i.

I raised my eyebrows as Embry and I followed behind him. "Jacob, are you feeling okay?"

He shrugged. "Sure, why?"

"You feel a little warm."

Embry glanced at me quickly, something flashing quickly across his face.

I ignored him and stepped into the dingy room that Jacob had opened. He threw his duffle bag onto the only bed in the room, Embry and I copied his laziness.

I sat on the bed carefully, eying the room around me in distastefulness. It seemed like a dungeon to me – the walls looked like they once could have been white, but they were now coated in brown and gray, the wallpaper peeling and scuffing off, falling to the floor in little balled heaps. The floor was wood, thankfully, it was just dusty.

"This place _stinks_,"

"And looks like it hasn't been cleaned in twelve years," Jacob agreed.

"If you don't like it, then you can sleep in the truck," I scolded, feeling suddenly violated by the squishiness of the bed and the way it creaked. "Who wants the bed?"

"You can sleep on it, Bella. Embry and I can sleep on the floor."

"I can share it with someone."

"I will!"

Jacob smacked Embry upside the head, probably for something I'd rather not know that only ran through a 16-year-old boy's head.

"Okay, I guess I get the bed to myself, then."

Embry shrugged, his face falling a little bit. "I'm going to go get some extra blankets and pillows."

Jacob and I watched him leave, and once the door was closed, Jacob was immediately at my side, grabbing my hand.

"Bella, no matter what happens, I'm going to be your friend, okay?" he said, his voice rushed and strained.

I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion, my heart now hammering in my chest. "Jake, what are you talking about?"

"Just listen to me, Bells – no matter what, no matter how upset or angry I get, you're _always_ going to be my best friend. I don't care what you do or how you do it, nothing can tear us apart."

I yanked my hand out of his, shoving myself away from the bed. My eyes narrowed in on him, not understanding what he was saying but feeling completely and utterly angered by the fact that he thought anything could tear us apart. And that he thought that _I_ was going to be the one to do it.

Nothing was supposed to happen between Jake and I. He was not some mythical creature that could stop being my friend because he was afraid he was going to _kill_ me. He was supposed to be my save harbor – my lifejacket.

And, of course, my temperament affected my tear-ducts.

The hot tears welled in my eyes. "Jacob Black, how could you ever think that I would do something to screw this friendship up?" I demanded. "You're pretty much the only thing I've got right now, Jacob – I intend to keep it that way."

"No, Bella, you don't under—"

Embry decided to waltz back into the room then, pillows and blanket in hand.

He half smiled as both Jacob and I sent daggers at him. "What? Did I interrupt something?"

--

I turned over restlessly in my sleep, Jacob's words haunting me as I tried to find the meaning behind them. I groaned inwardly to myself for not being able to get comfortable so many times that I thought I had wakened both Jacob and Embry up.

I rolled over on the too squishy bed, my mind working too fast to be able to sleep. I felt like I should be driving right now – trying to find the reason for me running away from home.

Tonight was one of the nights that I wished so deeply that I had Edward to hum my lullaby, to lull me softly to sleep with his velvety smooth voice; his honey coated smoldering eyes to watch every curve of my face relax until I was unconscious.

There was a rustling on the floor next to me, and I flopped over to my right to see Jacob hunched over, clutching his stomach.

I was at his side in an instant, my hand running down his back.

"Jacob?" my voice was laced in concern. "Jacob, are you all right?"

I had no response. The only noise was heavy panting.

"Embry," I whispered in the darkness, and I jumped at how quick he was to come to my aid.

His dark brows pulled together tightly as he watched Jacob, his hand on his shoulder.

"Jacob, breathe," he commanded, patting his back.

"Jacob, what's wrong?"

Again, no reply.

"Bella, turn the light on."

I nodded and turned around, leaning against the bed as I reached up and switched the lamp on.

My eyes widened as I could now see the sweat pooling on Jacob's forehead, his eyes squeezed shut so tightly that I slapped a hand to his back, panicking, trying to get a response.

"He's in pain," I mentally slapped myself for stating the obvious. I touched a hand to his forehead, and he recoiled from it. I frowned. "He's too hot."

Embry's eyes shot to mine and he cursed under his breath.

My heart began to accelerate, my breath hitching in my throat. Nothing was meant to happen to Jacob – he was supposed to be happy and healthy and be my best friend. When he was happy, I was happy, when he felt pain, I felt pain. What was mine was his. We were bonded too deeply to ignore it.

I felt my heart crumble in my chest at the sight of my best friend, his entire frame shaking as he clutched the blanket in his hands, his jaw strained tight and the veins in his neck about to burst. His breathing was now coming in quick rasps.

"Sam!" Embry called.

I whipped my head around, confused, as I watched the door fly open, Sam Uley appearing out of thin air, almost as if he were a... a vampire. Two boys that I had recognized from the Rez, my memory failing me on their names, rushed in behind him, their faces in tight masks of pain as they came to Jacob, pushing me out of the way roughly and gripping his arms, pulling him up.

Jacob groaned.

"What are you doing?" my voice was weak with horror.

They ignored me, dragging Jacob to the bed and lying him down. He groaned again.

"What's wrong with him?!" I cried, trying to push past one of the boys.

"Get her out of here, Paul," Sam commanded the taller boy in front of me.

He gripped my upper arms, putting too much pressure to where I was surely to have a bruise. I tried pushing him away, but it was no use – he was much too stronger than I.

"Let me go!"

Embry's face had now matched theirs – a mask of no emotion, blank, expressionless.

Now Jacob was straight out sobbing.

"Jake!" again, I tried pushing past Paul.

This time, Embry caught me by the elbow.

"Bella," his voice was low and rushed. "Run. Run as far away from here as you can. Don't come back. Don't tell anybody that we're here."

My eyes widened in alarm. "Embry, tell me what's going on first."

"I can't."

"You sure as hell can! I _drove_ you here, I helped you on the side of the road, and now you're just going to kick me out? While my friend is lying there on the bed, withering in pain, you're just going to tell me to go away and expect me to listen?"

"Get out, Bella,"

"I thought Sam told someone to get her _out_!" Paul's voice boomed over both Embry and I's.

Our heads snapped in his direction and he was quivering.

"Go, Bella!"

And this time I listened.

I ran out of the motel room so fast I was afraid that my clumsy footing would trip me, and I would get caught by whatever I felt like was chasing me. I felt the hugest pressure on my back as I rushed out of the motel, to my truck. I felt the tears that were a normal, everyday thing for me now gush out of my eyes as my mind became cluttered with thoughts of Jacob.

I couldn't help but think something was too wrong, that something epic was happening, and I _hated_ being left out of it.

Jacob was in that room, sobbing from pain on a dingy bed that was too small for him, surrounded by a group of boys that he did not even like. _The Quileute Gang_, as he had once called them.

My stomach lurched at the thought that they could hurt Jacob even more, and here I was, running from him when he needed me the most.

The truck whined in protest as I tried to make it go over 50.

"Now you die out on me," I muttered sharply, slamming my fist down on the steering wheel as I struggled.

I merged as fast as my truck would allow onto Highway-1 E, trying to calm my heart.

I was trying to talk myself into doing this alone, because some part of me always felt like I'd have someone there. But, no. Here I was, completely and utterly _alone_.

"You're not alone, Bella," the beautiful voice murmured in my head.

I had almost forgotten about the fact that my imagination got the best of me. But, it was a comfort in this desperate time.

My hold on the steering wheel loosened, my knuckles turning their normal shade of alabaster. I could still feel the sweat beading at the top of my forehead and the back of my neck.

"Bella, you're going to do this," I said aloud to myself. I couldn't get any crazier than I already was, so, why not? "You're going to Denali and you're going to find Edward. You do not care if you merely find Alice or Jasper; you will still continue to hunt Edward Cullen down. You will demand an answer and you _will_ get a response." I wondered where this newer, braver side of me came from, but I didn't care – I was going to be sure to use it to its full advantage.

Somewhere in the distance of the long highway, I heard a wolf howl brokenly, the clear voice an echo in the darkness, sending shivers up my already cold spine.


End file.
